Grandma

The last time I saw her she was distant. She was different. As if she suspected what we all didn’t. We thought she’d be around forever until she wasn’t. Her last breath ended her sadness, and with it brought on our suffering. Suddenly, missing her smothering. Missing her mothering. Her nurturing. Her laughing, her crying, her nagging, her cooking, her loving. Uncovering my selfishness, discovering my carelessness, wondering how I could have been so heartless. How could I of taken her for granted?

I wish I could hold her one more time. Look her deep in her eyes and thank her for just being in my life. Thank her for all that she sacrificed. For the times she played with my hair at night. For all her wisdom and all of her light. Apologize for every time she compromised. For the times I fought back and watched her cry. For every time I didn’t sympathize. I hope she remembers me in her afterlife. I hope she can feel how grateful I am for all that she instilled and how she influenced my beliefs. I often wonder if she sees the woman I’ve become and is proud of me.  I still see her every day in my personality. As if a part of her lives on within me.  She is not in this realm but she is in my heart and in my memory. I miss you and will love you always, abuelita Primi.

-Erika Fuego

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47 thoughts on “Grandma

  1. This is beautiful. My granny made her physical departure from this world 7 years ago, and she is still very much with me. She raised me to be the woman that I am, and I am forever grateful. I OVERstand the rawness of emotion conveyed in this piece. Thanks for sharing.

  2. such good, warm words about your Grandma…..I was raised by mine, and now, at 96, going on 97, she no longer remembers me or the rest of my family…but that won’t stop me loving her and thanking God she was in my life!

  3. Wonderful writing. There is nothing that you missed. That’s really great writing when you can make your readers feel like they missed out on knowing your Granny and kind of sorry for you at the same time. And you did it so economically. Beautiful. I will light a candle and burn some incense in her honor at Weeki wachee Springs. The mermaid city.

  4. Very nice writing and well said, it reminds me of my relationship with my Grandma who passed a few years back. I had lots of great memories with her 🙂

  5. Heartfelt. Loss deepens the appreciation for those we love and makes more dear the cherished memories. I particularly like the phrase “We thought she would be around forever until she wasn’t.”

  6. A very heartfelt composition. There are times when you can see the end coming, as was the case with my dad’s mother, but other times it comes all of a sudden.

  7. A wonderful memory in honor of a loved one. I lost my uncle a couple weeks ago at 43. It was one of those accidents where, the only thing you can do is embrace whatever emotions you have in regards to the situation and remember that person and hold onto that memory as best as possible. As long as your love continues for Her, then there will never be anything to worry about.

    🙂

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