She sat down on her windowsill and looked up at the night sky. The stars shined. The moon was full and bright. She asked the planets to align, to show her a sign. She begged for guidance. Patience. Some kind … Continue reading
Tag Archives: pain
We are ALL Beautiful
We all have rolls when we bend down.
Dear God, I need advice. Can you send me a sign? I need you to put me back on track. Can you do that? Because you answered everything I prayed for; And yet, here I am still wanting more. I … Continue reading
I used to think drama would resuscitate me.
Seal the voids, saturate the silence and fill the empty spaces inside me.
I thought a little fire would reignite my life.
But after a while the fire started burning so hot, I wasn’t sure whether it was burning hot or turned to ice.
My patience ran out, with far too many questions and doubts and I found what I suspected.
Certainly swept of my feet but with no intention of catching me, he knew I’d hit the ground any second but turned around and neglected, not even tempted to save me.
My patience ran weary, the desire grew dreary and the passion was only passionate in the beginning.
Yes, my senses were stimulated, my nerves damaged my brain imbalanced and now I don’t know if I can manage my own will.
Days turned to weeks, to months, too fast but felt as if time were standing still.
I lost myself in him and then I lost myself through him, and now I cant find myself at all and fear my favorite part of myself is lost forever.
Imprisoned by his game, betrayed and ashamed, some of my worst times have been times we spent together.
I thought he’d bring me back to life but I couldn’t feel more dead.
I don’t want the drama; just bring me back the kind of love you die for, not fight for and I’ll never take it for granted again.
I am Enough.
Can you love me?
Can you make me feel beautiful?
Can you hold me?
Can you cuddle with me?
Can you make me feel worthy, special, wanted and loved?
I want to fall in love.
I want to love & be loved.
blah, blah, blah…
These Inner Voices of Mine
Inner voices tell me to live in fear
To cover my body
That I should do a boob job
I’ll never be thin enough
I’ll never be pretty enough
Not Another Love Game
I don’t want to play a game.
I don’t want to play hard to get.
I don’t want to wait to respond to your message
Or not answer when you call the first time.
Sometimes you’ve got to let it go.
You have to let go because holding on is too painful.
Or being forced to live makes you resentful.
This world is interrupting my peace.
The last time I saw her she was distant. She was different. As if she suspected what we all didn’t. We thought she’d be around forever until she wasn’t. Her last breath ended her sadness, and with it brought on our suffering. Suddenly, missing her smothering. Missing her mothering. Her nurturing. Her laughing, her crying, her nagging, her cooking, her loving. Uncovering my selfishness, discovering my carelessness, wondering how I could have been so heartless. How could I of taken her for granted? Continue reading