This Soul of Mine
I have lived a thousand lives, in countless forms and numerous spaces in this vast universe.
I have died with honor, I have killed a crime of passion, I have been an addict and a queen.
I have lived with great grace and survived in the wilderness.
I was Cleopatra at the start of her empire.
I was Aphrodite in her longest most lustful and passionate act.
I was Marilyn Monroe in her euphoric intoxication and the inspiration in John Lennon’s guitar.
I have felt all kinds of joy and experienced all kinds of darkness.
I have been the blossoming of pink petals on a warm summer breeze.
I have been the withering and decay of the tallest tree.
I was a pirate, a warrior and the deepest cry of a slave.
I’ve flown freely throughout pink, orangey skies and lived as an owl watching over the night.
I have spent night after night on the very top of a mountain howling at the moon.
And in each life remembering who I am by forgetting all my past.
I was the entrance of a love spell and the peak of infatuation.
I was once the highest, most powerful, supreme witch and the cleverest gypsy wearing the gold anklet.
I’ve been the glimmer of a tiny star & the blue of the deepest ocean.
This soul of mine lives on forever more.
Although at times I can’t see it.
A part of me knows it.
And even in the midst of a storm when I curse the gift of life and feel that God has forsaken me, I wait.
The storm soon passes and I choose life again.
For I am the storm. I am the rainbow. I am Goddess. I am God.
I am life.
The Broken Girl
She felt an emptiness. A Brokenness. A feeling of incompleteness. She always did. Ever since she was a little girl she felt trapped. She saw the world & it seemed so vast, so cold that she wanted nothing more than to not be a part of it. Even at such a young age she understood that there was so much more to life than this.
She couldn’t understand why she was here. She knew she didn’t belong. Sometimes, she forgot and smiled and laughed and loved. But other times she felt this universe was so gigantic and she felt so small in it. Insignificant. She looked at everyone and everything around her and felt torn between the beauty of it all and at war with the senselessness of it all. Your picket fence, your car, your relationships, your triumphs, your struggles, the beginnings, the endings, the births, the deaths… what was it all for? What was the purpose? She felt as though life was a play. All of us playing our parts but what afterwards? What happens when the curtains are drawn? It seemed illogical. Irrelevant. Redundant. She only cared for one thing and that one thing was everything and that was love. She yearned for love. But not just any love. True, unconditional love. But she saw herself so defective that she thought she was not worthy of this love. But still, she searched for it. She knew it was the only thing that can fill the abyss that ran so far down within her. But each time she fell in love, she loved with all of herself and lost herself and when that love betrayed her, hurt her and left her she was yet again reminded of her unworthiness, her emptiness and her brokenness broke a bit more.
Who We Are
Sometimes, I look around this world and see so much beauty that I am overwhelmed. It is shocking and alarming and then peaceful once you know the truth. You entered this realm with nothing to learn but only to remember what you already know. We all did. We are all souls living a human experience. The next time you ride the subway or are stuck in traffic take a look around. Breathe in and out slowly and deeply and separate yourself from the illusion of the human world. The next time you look into someone’s eyes or the eyes of an animal don’t look at the physical form but see the soul that lies within and all around. Acknowledge that every single person is a soul just like you that chose to enter this realm the same way you did. The confusing part is why did we forget that? Why do we get amnesia upon entering the physical universe? It is easier to be God if you already know you are God. Sometimes, one must lose themselves to find themselves and that is all that you are doing here. Remembering that you are God by being a living, breathing action of all that he is. If you’ve ever wondered why we are all here it is exactly that. This is the only game in town. There is nothing else to do. Even once you are able to live in the highest realm filled with only love and light, you eventually leave and choose to once again experience darkness. I’ll give you an example… it’s like making love. Everyone knows it is the most beautiful, sacred, euphoric feeling a human being can naturally experience but if you have sex twenty four hours a day it becomes boring and loses its pleasure. Choosing to leave other states of being and realms is the same concept. You want to change things up. To remember all that you are. All that you can feel and all that you can do and be. There are as many cells in your body as there are stars in the universe. You are your own universe. You are God deciding to know yourself as the human you are today. Whether that’s a priest or a racist, a soldier or a murderer, a teacher or a prostitute (and I use these as examples). It may be hard for you to understand this and you may not like it (and that’s okay) but one is not better than the other. They both must exist. In order to know one from the other. Even in order for another to choose what they are in reference to another. That is why we are all one. We are all one soul feeding off each other’s lives, experiences, thoughts, feelings and actions. You enter this dimension knowing exactly what part of God you want to experience. You chose your race, your wealth, your family and your relationships beforehand. It is all written in the stars. If you want to know who you really are look up at the night sky. You are a star and I mean that literally.
Yes sure, you see me…. but do you really see me? Can you see within me or do you see an illusion of me? If we all took a second to really see someone. Their heart. Their soul. To understand them. To understand their struggles. Their past. Their emotions. Their passions. Their thoughts. Their cries. Their story. If we can see past the illusion and understand that we are all souls trapped in our bodies. Understand that the body is only a shell. That we are all made of the same three parts (body, mind and spirit). That we are all connected. That we all chose to come to this planet to remember who we are at our core and advance to the next level of awareness.
Understand that we are all part of the process and we are all on a journey to advance to the next dimension and move into the highest realm where there is nothing but love and light. If we could all see past the illusion then maybe we could start sharing love and shedding light with each other right here and right now. The world would change in a New York minute.
I look at you and I see you. My Gods and Goddesses. My brother. My sister. Can you see me?