She sat down on her windowsill and looked up at the night sky. The stars shined. The moon was full and bright. She asked the planets to align, to show her a sign. She begged for guidance. Patience. Some kind … Continue reading
I used to think drama would resuscitate me.
Seal the voids, saturate the silence and fill the empty spaces inside me.
I thought a little fire would reignite my life.
But after a while the fire started burning so hot, I wasn’t sure whether it was burning hot or turned to ice.
My patience ran out, with far too many questions and doubts and I found what I suspected.
Certainly swept of my feet but with no intention of catching me, he knew I’d hit the ground any second but turned around and neglected, not even tempted to save me.
My patience ran weary, the desire grew dreary and the passion was only passionate in the beginning.
Yes, my senses were stimulated, my nerves damaged my brain imbalanced and now I don’t know if I can manage my own will.
Days turned to weeks, to months, too fast but felt as if time were standing still.
I lost myself in him and then I lost myself through him, and now I cant find myself at all and fear my favorite part of myself is lost forever.
Imprisoned by his game, betrayed and ashamed, some of my worst times have been times we spent together.
I thought he’d bring me back to life but I couldn’t feel more dead.
I don’t want the drama; just bring me back the kind of love you die for, not fight for and I’ll never take it for granted again.
What if life is a game?
The only game we could play.
What if we simply get bored in other dimensions and choose not stay?
What if we come to planet earth to feel, think and love?
Just because it’s fun.
If we could disconnect from the person we’ve become.
Disconnect from the people and things that have hurt us.
Look at life in a different light;
Almost child like.
With out so much grief and strife.
I wonder if then we could learn to enjoy life?
Or is not giving into our dramas and fears too much of a sacrifice?
I sit, write, scratch out, erase.
I type, space, backspace, delete.
I wanted to write a deep, meaningful poem about this but it’s not coming to me.
I don’t know.
Like I do but I don’t.
I’d like to believe the highest, most esteemed part of myself thinks it knows the secrets of life and that all the answers reside within the whispers of my soul.
But then this mind of mine that I can never seem to shut off has this little voice in it that’s like:
You don’t really know shit.
5 billion people in this universe believe in a God.
With no proof.
I am one of those people.
Although the realistic side to me does think a supernatural entity does make this cold world warmer.
Believing there is a force out there looking out after all of us is very comforting.
Thinking there is a superhuman being in the sky that loves us unconditionally makes us feel less alone.
I can see how we could dream that up to help us sleep at night.
But maybe we’ve lost touch with the purpose of life.
It seems early civilizations knew there was something more than what is.
Native Americans, Mayans, Aztecs and many other cultures and civilizations believed they were spiritual beings.
Where did this spirituality come from?
Before newspapers and books and movies & TVs.
Before government and religion,
They felt a connection to a divine spirit.
Maybe it resides in us and we are just too busy to connect with it.
This post is kind of all over the place and it’s hard for me to focus because it’s such a broad topic.
Let me stick to the question.
Is the human life significant?
I don’t think this universe was created by accident.
I guess that’s what makes you a believer or not.
Is everything an accident? Is everything just a mere coincidence?
Or is there a purpose behind everything?
I’m one of those that believes everything happens for a reason.
Corny and cliche, i know but true.
There are no coincidences.
No coincidence that we have as much water in our body as the earth does.
Not a coincidence that the air is made up exactly right for us to breathe.
Not a coincidence that our skin heals on its own and that we have as many cells in our body as there are stars in the galaxy.
I just don’t see how those things happened by mistake and not by a divine plan and creator.
Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
You are either a believer or a non believer.
I am a believer.
So to answer the question….
Yes, the human life is significant.
I am but a human
Living in my humanness
Worried about my gas, my rent and cigarettes.
I am only a human
Living in my human ways
Working 9-5 day after day with no significant change.
I am a simple human
Living amongst the human race
Worried about my weight and the wrinkles on my face.
I am only a human
Existing through my human phase
Who only worries about tomorrow and can’t wait to finish the day.
I am but a mere human who awakens by the buzzing of my alarm clock
Late to work again
Rushing past the strangers on the sidewalk.
I am only a human that throws wrappers out of my window to keep my car clean.
A human who is enslaved to always wanting, always needing and can’t find relief.
A human who’s always reaching, always thinking but cannot simply be.
Just a human with suppressed pain and suffering that cannot be released.
I am but a mere human trapped in my humaneness, yearning for success.
Concerned with what lies ahead but not with the present.
I am only a human who answers when my cell phone rings.
An ordinary human who wishes for the finer things.
Another human, who can’t spare change for the beggar on the street
because my money belongs to me.
A mere human that never has enough time, love or money.
Glued to a laptop and television screen.
I am but a mere human, saving up for plastic surgery.
Just a human with a wine bottle that’s half empty.
Unhappy and unhealthy.
I look into the mirror and a human is what I see.
& I guess I’m doing just fine, although my soul is on its knees.
But I’m just a mere human so I’ll keep living in my human ways, existing in my human phase.
I’m sure this is what God intended when he created the human race.
– Erika Fuego
A day at the park
And we talked for 8 hours straight
A day at the park and I couldn’t take the smile off my face
A day spent by his side
And I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much
A day looking into his eyes and couldn’t help but see a spark
A day in his company
And I felt happy, for the first time in a long time
A day at his side
And I never felt more alive
It was just a day in the park
But I can’t get it out of my head
It was just a few hours with a friend
But I can’t pretend I didn’t feel it might be the beginning of something.
But I must have been wrong because after our day in the park, I never heard from him much.
So much for thinking, it may have been love.
I don’t know your name, your age, your race or the dimensions of your face.
I’m not sure whether you’re a man, a woman, the wind or energy.
I don’t know if you run as deep as the sea or if you’re as small as a seed.
I’m not sure where you are but I feel you within me.
Because every time the wind blows I feel you caress me.
At night when I feel alone,
I look up at the moon and see light shimmer and I know it’s you.
And sometimes, I can even hear you in my head.
And that’s when I know, God is everything.
The last time I saw her she was distant. She was different. As if she suspected what we all didn’t. We thought she’d be around forever until she wasn’t. Her last breath ended her sadness, and with it brought on our suffering. Suddenly, missing her smothering. Missing her mothering. Her nurturing. Her laughing, her crying, her nagging, her cooking, her loving. Uncovering my selfishness, discovering my carelessness, wondering how I could have been so heartless. How could I of taken her for granted? Continue reading
Triggers the mind & forgets all consequence
Marked necks & sore lips