Resuscitation Revaluation

I used to think drama would resuscitate me.

Seal the voids, saturate the silence and fill the empty spaces inside me.

I thought a little fire would reignite my life.

But after a while the fire started burning so hot, I wasn’t sure whether it was burning hot or turned to ice.

My patience ran out, with far too many questions and doubts and I found what I suspected.

Certainly swept of my feet but with no intention of catching me, he knew I’d hit the ground any second but turned around and neglected, not even tempted to save me.

My patience ran weary, the desire grew dreary and the passion was only passionate in the beginning.

Yes, my senses were stimulated, my nerves damaged my brain imbalanced and now I don’t know if I can manage my own will.

Days turned to weeks, to months, too fast but felt as if time were standing still.

I lost myself in him and then I lost myself through him, and now I cant find myself at all and fear my favorite part of myself is lost forever.

Imprisoned by his game, betrayed and ashamed, some of my worst times have been times we spent together.

I thought he’d bring me back to life but I couldn’t feel more dead.

I don’t want the drama; just bring me back the kind of love you die for, not fight for and I’ll never take it for granted again.

-Erika Fuego